the end result

Well, I blogged a few weeks ago about a few friendships that had gone south.  (Thank you for the comments and those who prayed for this issue - I truly appreciate the prayers!)  Unfortunately, that issue in one of the friendships has gone from bad to worse.  The other "friendship" - and I use that term loosely to describe this one friendship because if I'm being honest, I don't want that friendship. I've seen straight through to the heart of this girl and I don't want any part of that.  Too bad I didn't know that weeks ago and I would've saved myself a painful conversation!!  Live and learn, I suppose. But... the other friendship, I cared about and still do care about... but, I'm almost certain it can't be repaired for several reasons. I'm left with an empty feeling about it.  I'm not someone who just gives in and gives up.  I fight for what I want and what I see no matter the cost and no matter how hard it is.

I kinda feel like my idea of friendship isn't what everyones is... and I'm not saying I'm right and everyone else is wrong but maybe I need a reality check on friendship "rules".  First, if I've upset you/offended you/wronged you etc. and you make that known to me... I'll work my butt off to fix it and make it right, but I can't fix it if you don't tell me.  Second, I expect screw ups in friendships.  Arguments, disagreements etc, those happen in ALL relationships, even marriages!  The key is work through them on both ends, not giving up and not shutting the other person down and out.  There would be no marriages or friendship if everyone did life that way. There's also a key in here in accepting blame for where you were wrong.  No one likes to be at fault or blamed but to knowingly claim you didn't wrong someone when you did, is wrong.  period.  it's wrong.

Now maybe my ideas I listed above are unbelievably crazy but how in the world do friendships work if these things aren't a part of them?

In the end, this friendship is probably done with.  over.  gone forever.  Although my heart is broken over some of the things said and some of the way things were handled... maybe I didn't actually know who this person was in the first place and I jumped feet first into something I shouldn't have.

At the end of the day, I can say this... I can and will forgive.  I can and will heal.  And I am ever so thankful that the God I serve is faithful in my relationship with him and that he doesn't "throw in the towel".